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Victoria Bourque - mental health coach| Glossop - Derbyshire

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Why do you see threats, dangers and worries everywhere you look? » IMG_6152

Emergency alarm

An red emergency alarm is soundingContinue Reading

An red emergency alarm is sounding

2018-10-02

Contact me

Thrive with Victoria Bourque
c/o Glossop Osteopathy Clinic
23 Fauvel Road
High Peak
Derbyshire SK13 7AR
United Kingdom

Email me via the form on the Contact me page

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thrivewithvictoriabourque

After over 4 years of getting nowhere with doctors

After over 4 years of getting nowhere with doctors and interventions, Amy's journey to overcome vaginismus made a u turn with The Thrive Programme®.

"The course has been Life changing! Quite honestly the best thing I have ever done. I spent 4 years listening to numerous doctors and trying every treatment out there, and I was really starting to believe that I was never going to overcome vaginismus. But after even a session, I was amazed at the progress. I have now finished the programme and am able to have regular, pain free and enjoyable sex which I never ever thought I’d be able to say and my overall mental health is better than it’s ever been before! Thank you so much Thrive - you really have changed my life!!"

Most people haven’t heard of vaginismus and, due to a lack of information, many women suffer in silence, feeling confused, embarrassed and isolated.
Vaginismus causes penetration to be painful or impossible and often leads to relationship problems and other issues such as avoiding gynaecological examinations including important screening procedures.

Many women with vaginismus have already tried various treatment options – whether it’s pelvic floor exercises, using dilators, botox – to little or no avail.
If this resonates with you please know that you are not alone and you can very much overcome your symptoms with the Cure your Vaginismus and Thrive Programme®️ This evidence-based programme gives you all the tools you need to overcome vaginismus so you can feel empowered and back in control of how your body responds. To book a free initial chat appointment please send me a message.

If you stop now and tune into your thoughts, are y

If you stop now and tune into your thoughts, are you thinking helpful, calm and kind thoughts?

It’s ok if you’re not, you’re probably not in the habit of doing so, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay this way.

If you have anxiety, depression or a phobia such as emetophobia (a severe fear of vomit/vomiting) it can be really easy to feel frustrated, especially when you set standards for yourself that you don’t meet.

Being unkind to yourself serves absolutely no purpose: it won’t help you overcome that issue, in fact, it will actually help to do the complete opposite.

The next time you want to criticise yourself for your so-called failure, take a step back and choose to cut yourself some slack.

Setbacks help us to learn so that next time, we can handle situations a bit better.
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#mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #anxietyrelief #selfcompassion #emetophobia

One of the mental health issues I support people i

One of the mental health issues I support people in overcoming is emetophobia which is a severe phobia of vomit/vomiting.

Like many mental health issues, emetophobia often leaves you feeling pretty hopeless, especially if you’ve tried multiple therapies to beat it with little success. It’s understandable if you’d think like Edward when watching the many testimonials on the Thrive Programme website - people looking super happy and positive about beating their phobia.

Due to black-and-white thinking which ALL emetophobes have, it’s very easy to either think in a really powerful way about beating your phobia, or a completely powerless way.

We get people who start the programme with the mindset ‘I’m going to beat this by hook or by crook!’ and put in loads of effort every day to beat it - unsurprisingly they get over their phobia quite quickly.

On the other hand, there are people who feel so powerless about their phobia and believe it’s impossible to ever think about vomit in any other way than being terrifying. This means they can think quite negatively about their own capabilities to beat it and be mistrustful of the programme. It’s ok if you’re feeling like that at the moment, it’s all about changing that belief in yourself until you realise ‘I CAN do this!’ Like Edward did, eventually, even after starting the programme! This might take a little longer to achieve but the important thing is to start, and to be open minded. If people like Edward can do it YOU CAN TOO! .
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#emetophobia #emetophobiahelp #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness

Reminder!!! (I even think that 0.1% is generous).

Reminder!!!

(I even think that 0.1% is generous).

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #overcominganxiety #anxiety #anxietyawareness

Be successful this weekend 🥰✨ . . #weekendvi

Be successful this weekend 🥰✨ .
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#weekendvibes #selfesteem #mentalhealthawareness #thriveprogramme

Give yourself grace, even when you make a mistak

Give yourself grace, even when you make a mistake 🧡

#mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthmatters #thriveprogramme #mentalhealth #mondaymood

You’re a lot closer to recovering from your ment

You’re a lot closer to recovering from your mental health issues than you think. Don’t let perfectionist thinking make you think you’ve got far to go.

Perfectionism makes you focus on all the negatives, all the so-called imperfections, all the reasons you’re ‘not there yet.’ It makes you zoom in on small things, seeing them as signs you’ve still got a long way to go. It calls you a failure any time you make a ‘mistake’ or anytime you still feel even a tiny bit anxious.

Perfectionism is not reality, it’s keeping you stuck in an old mindset. Spend time writing down all the evidence proving just how far you've come - you'll be surprised. It's time to take off those perfectionist glasses 🧡. .
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#mentalhealth #anxietyrelief #emotionalhealth #emetophobia #mentalhealthmatters #selfesteem #perfectionism #anxietyawareness

Do you ever spend time away from your phone?? 🤳

Do you ever spend time away from your phone?? 🤳🤳🤳

Most people have their phone on them all the time. A lot of people use their phones whenever they feel anxious, awkward or uncomfortable. It feels automatic to reach for it when you’re waiting on your own, talking to a group of people you don't know or in a queue. Even holding it is a reassurance.

People with anxieties and phobias often rely on their phones when they feel anxious. It’s a helpful distraction tool when you’re in a panic attack, for example.

But it’s very important to realise something: it is not your phone that’s ‘making’ you feel calmer when you’re panicking, you feel calmer because you’re distracting yourself from your anxious thoughts. It seems insignificant but it’s actually a HUGE distinction.

Why is it so important?

Because it shifts the power away from external things, like phones, and gives us the power. The anxiety is coming from inside of us, so we have the power to change it - we don’t NEED to use our phones, we need to just build up our own sense of power and control - which is what The Thrive Programme enables you to do.

A client used to play candy crush anytime they felt a panic attack coming on. They were so convinced they needed to play it that they believed they absolutely could not cope if they didn’t have their phone on them when they were anxious, so they had it constantly in their hand. But this has shifted so much they don’t get panic attacks anymore and they now realise they don’t ‘need’ their phone.

How can you start doing this? Try not to always have your phone near you. When you have it, notice whenever you use it as an external crutch. Instead of automatically reaching for it, train yourself to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and feelings of discomfort. You'll feel a burning to get your phone but tell yourself you can cope. You don’t need to immediately not use it in a panic attack, but you can do small steps to train yourself to tolerate discomfort/anxiety, for example: stand on your own without going on your phone, don’t hold it in social situations, don’t check it every few minutes for reassurance.

Today is #worldkindnessday 🧡🧡🧡 So throw t

Today is #worldkindnessday 🧡🧡🧡 So throw that stuff around like confetti (and always remember to be kind to yourself too) 🎉🎉🎉 .
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#selfcompassion #worldkindnessday2021 #positivevibes #mentalhealthmatters

How many nice things do you say to yourself vs neg

How many nice things do you say to yourself vs negative things?

I bet you’re putting yourself down many times a day. Due to perfectionism, do you find ways to criticise and berate yourself for just about anything?

That inner voice in your head might sound like a parent, teacher or ex judging you and criticising you. But the only person judging you, really, is YOU! You’re the only one inside your head! So give yourself the power and ask yourself - do I really deserve this? Do I really need to judge myself all the time?

Take the time to focus on the good things about you. You deserve to feel good about yourself. And don’t beat yourself up if you notice you’re berating yourself!! All you need to do is challenge that thought and flip it into kindness 🧡🧡🧡. .
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#positivevibes #mondaymotivation #selfcompassion #selfesteem #mentalhealthmatters #feelgood #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellbeing

Can you relate to this? Do you feel like you’re

Can you relate to this?

Do you feel like you’re naturally a worrier, like your mind can never rest, always worrying about something?

It can often feel like we’re just one of those people who worries a lot, someone who is just an anxious person.

This then feeds into the idea about yourself that you’re just one of those nervy people in life. That you feel different to everyone else. You worry more than others, while most other people don’t get bothered.

However strong this feels, you weren’t born a worrier and like Emma, you don’t have to keep being one, just because you’ve always felt like you were. You just haven’t had the opportunity to be shown anything different.

Contact me to find out how to learn the skills to overcome anxiety and overthinking.

#thethriveprogramme #anxiety #worrying #mentalhealth #overthinking

Swipe and save for whenever you need a reminder. W

Swipe and save for whenever you need a reminder. Wishing everyone a happy Bank Holiday weekend 😌🧡

We’re super passionate about our programme. We

We’re super passionate about our programme.

We know it works and the results prove it. While we feel all kinds of awesome about this 77% - that statistic is actually a reflection of all your hard work. We see you there, yes you with the now brilliant self-esteem YOU created.

Want to improve your self-esteem too? You totally can. DM me for more info 🙌🙌🏾🙌🏿

#thethriveprogramme
#learntoloveyourlife
#selfesteem
#selfsteemboost
#selfsteembuilding

✨ Your self-esteem is not based on fact. It does

✨ Your self-esteem is not based on fact. It doesn’t reflect the reality of how good, nice, loveable, attractive or clever you are✨
 It can feel like your self-esteem is a fixed thing which you have no control over - something which is objectively based on real life.

Your self-esteem is actually a belief you hold about yourself, and without realising, we look for evidence in our daily lives to support our beliefs. Many people have a low opinion of themselves, and look for evidence to validate this negative belief.

For example, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing the likeable person that everyone else sees you as, you look in the mirror and criticise all the flaws you think you have, making yourself feel rubbish and draining your self-esteem ‘battery’ in the process. But this is all a belief, none of it is rooted in fact.

The Thrive Programme, has a whole section dedicated to building your self-esteem. You are powerful when you have high self-esteem because you know your own worth and aren’t phased by opinions of other people - you’ve probably come across some people like that in life - but the good thing is anyone can be like this and achieve high self-esteem ✨. .
#selfesteem #selfcompassion #selfconfidence #loveyourlife❤️ #mentalhealth

Your focus for this week (and beyond!) 🧡 Be eve

Your focus for this week (and beyond!) 🧡 Be every bit as thoughtful, respectful and caring to yourself as you are to others 🧡 .
#loveyourlife #selfcompassion #selfesteem #mentalhealth

Time to start caring a little more about yourself

Time to start caring a little more about yourself 🥰 #wednesdaywisdom #selfesteembuilding #selfcompassion

A supportive mid-week check-in for you 🧡 #love

A supportive mid-week check-in for you 🧡 #loveyourlife #wednesdaywisdom #mindset #mentalhealthtips

✨ Are you hypervigilant?✨ Many people with an

✨ Are you hypervigilant?✨

Many people with anxiety are hypervigilant (as are people who have emetophobia which is a severe fear of vomiting)

Do you.....

💆‍♂️ Struggle to switch off?

🛏 Have trouble sleeping, waking up at any noise?

🚨 ‘Body-scan’ and feel anxious at the slightest feeling of nausea (often caused by anxiety)?

👀 Constantly scan your surroundings?

🍝 Struggle to eat in public, monitoring people around you, your food and how you’re feeling?

👥 Pick up on and worry about other people’s reactions and what they say?

🍴Analyse food, check sell-by-dates, avoid eating at other people’s houses? (or sneakily go to their fridge/bin to check the cooking instructions and sell-by-dates!)

.... if so, it is likely that you are hypervigilant.

Hypervigilance is a state of increased alertness and extreme sensitivity to yourself and your surroundings. Research shows hypervigilant thinking is a key part of emetophobia.

When you’re always on high-alert, it means you’re living in a pretty much constant state of stress arousal.

Hypervigilant thinking can be tiring, but you’re not stuck with it for life. The Thrive Programme teaches you how you can take control of your mind and become so powerful in your mental health that hypervigilance is no longer a problem. You’ll be able to concentrate, live in the moment and properly relax.

✨ Some top tips for now though ✨

🔸 Start recognising when you’re being hypervigilant

🔸 Challenge your thoughts and give yourself perspective over the situation - ‘This is me just creating this anxiety which is making me feel sick, it’s not reality.’

🔸 Prioritise taking some time every day to do something that will help you de-stress and unwind. .
#emetophobiasupport #emetophobiarecovery #anxietyawareness

Let's pause for a moment and remind ourselves 🧡

Let's pause for a moment and remind ourselves 🧡

#TheThriveProgramme
#MentalHealth
#LoveYourLife

“We cannot predict with any kind of certainty wh

“We cannot predict with any kind of certainty what the future holds. The situation we are currently in is unknowable and largely beyond our control. However, we don’t need to control the event – we just need to control our response to the event. In other words, we need to feel able to cope.”

Head to the link in my bio to read the full blog of how to cope through uncertainty, written by my colleague James Woodworth.

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