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Victoria Bourque - anxiety, stress & depression consultant | Glossop - Derbyshire

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One Simple (but Effective) Tip to Break that Low-Self-Esteem-Cycle » Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 11.38.31

Jim Stockdale photo portrait

2017-04-09

Contact me

Thrive with Victoria Bourque
c/o Glossop Osteopathy Clinic
23 Fauvel Road
High Peak
Derbyshire SK13 7AR
United Kingdom

Mobile: 07901 796701

Email: victoria.bourque@icloud.com

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thrivewithvictoriabourque

Anxiety, Stress & Depression Consultant using The Thrive Programme

Lucy’s story is a familiar one. She had been str

Lucy’s story is a familiar one. She had been struggling with anxiety and overthinking for some time. She had got into a habit of working herself up over the smallest of things and then she would brood on them for days or weeks.
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Since working through the Thrive Programme®️ Lucy says she has not looked back. She has learnt the mental skills to take control of her over-thinking and worrying. These are now her skills for life.
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As Lucy says, “If you are willing to learn, ready to put in the work and would like to better yourself, your outlook and your life: this is the programme for you”. victoriabourque.uk
vicky.bourque@me.com

Most people haven’t heard of vaginismus and, due

Most people haven’t heard of vaginismus and, due to a lack of information, many women suffer in silence, feeling confused, embarrassed and isolated. .

Vaginismus causes penetration to be painful or impossible and often leads to relationship problems and other issues such as avoiding gynaecological examinations including important screening procedures. .

Many women with vaginismus have already tried various treatment options – whether it’s pelvic floor exercises, using dilators, botox – to little or no avail. .
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If this resonates with you please know that you are not alone and you can very much overcome your symptoms with the Cure your Vaginismus and Thrive Programme®️ This evidence-based programme gives you all the tools you need to overcome vaginismus so you can feel empowered and back in control of how your body responds. .
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The link to find more information is in my bio.

💭How are your thinking habits? - - 🤩 Are the

💭How are your thinking habits? -
- 🤩 Are they helpful, positive, supportive and powerful? -
- 😩 Or are they unhelpful, negative, judgemental and powerless? -
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Our thinking habits are really important in terms of our mental health and the brilliant news is that thinking habits are not fixed and unchangeable. -
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Once you know how, you can change your thinking habits so that they work FOR you 😌 not AGAINST you 🤯-
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I show my clients how to do this via The Thrive Programme. -
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victoriabourque.uk
vicky.bourque@me.com

The words you use both out-loud 💬 and in your h

The words you use both out-loud 💬 and in your head 💭matter. .
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It is worth while tuning in and noticing the words you are saying and thinking. . ➕ Are your words positive, helpful, kind, encouraging and supportive? . ➖ Or are they negative, unhelpful, unkind, discouraging and unsupportive? .
. 🗯 Notice if your words are over-dramatic, making a mountain out of a molehill. .
. ⚫️⚪️ Do you tend to use very rigid “black and white” language such as always/never, success/failure, good/bad or right/wrong with no room for a middle ground? 😔 .
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The words you are using are creating the thoughts and beliefs that you are filtering every area of your life through. 👓🕶👓🕶.
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Words matter too when it comes to our emotions. If you find that you often feel uncomfortable emotions such as anxiety, doubt, inadequacy, embarrassment or shame- start paying attention to the words you have been using both out loud and in your head. .
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It can feel like our emotions HAPPEN TO US- in reality our brains MAKE our emotions using the ingredients (ie the thoughts) we give them. . 💭 Unhelpful thoughts create difficult, uncomfortable emotions 🙁😫😡😳😬
. 💬 The language we use REALLY MATTERS and it is a huge insight into what you think and believe. .

If you consistently choose to make your language more helpful, you will be actively and positively impacting upon the rest of your day. Learn to do that everyday and both your mental health and your life will improve dramatically.

If you bring to mind right now, someone who is ver

If you bring to mind right now, someone who is very much thriving and getting the most out of life, one of the reasons they are functioning so well is that they have high, stable self esteem 🌟 .
. 🌟 Self esteem can be defined as how likeable and worthwhile you believe you are and it is a hugely important component of your mental health. .

Your self esteem isn’t a fixed and unchangeable part of you and it also isn’t necessarily based on the REALITY of how likeable and worthwhile you actually are. Your self esteem is your current opinion of yourself, which might not reflect reality..... ....If you have been thinking of yourself recently in a harsh, critical and uncharitable way, your current self esteem will be low 😞

Whereas, if you have been thinking of yourself in a kind, open and charitable way, your self esteem will be higher 🤩 .
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If you let external events or other peoples’ opinions of you affect how likeable/worthwhile you believe you are, your self esteem will be up and down like a rollercoaster. .

Building high, stable self esteem is a learnable skill. Once you know how to improve and maintain your self esteem, that skill is yours for life. .

Please private message me for more information on building and maintaining self esteem.

🌅 Making every day a fresh start is an importan

🌅 Making every day a fresh start is an important skill for mental health and it is a skill that can be learnt 🌅 .
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We often get into the habit of letting one bad or difficult day, run into the next and snowball into a bad week (or longer). .
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We often focus on what happened yesterday and let it affect us today when we could acknowledge it, learn from it, draw a line under it and move forward. .
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I work with my clients to develop the skill of doing this consistently every day and they report feeling so much better, more empowered and more able to move forward from the past. .
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Please private message me for more information.

Receiving this testimonial from Kate filled me wit

Receiving this testimonial from Kate filled me with joy ❤️ -
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Kate came to see me with emetophobia which is a severe fear of vomit/vomiting. Often sufferers go to great lengths to avoid being sick and this can mean avoiding becoming a parent because of fears around both morning sickness and also of being around babies/children and the perceived risks of them being sick. -
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Kate is keen for other emetophobia sufferers to know that it is possible to learn how to overcome emetophobia and thrive as she has done. -
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Here is what she has to say ❤️-
- “Thrive really has changed my life beyond all measure. I found being pregnant, and giving birth especially, completely empowering: it was all just so wonderful and exciting. I cannot wait to do it again! To think that it was one of the biggest things I always thought I would do anything to avoid! -
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I’ve spent years with the workbook under my bed, hanging on to the hope that it would be the cure, but never daring to read and apply it fully in case it didn’t help like I needed it to. I needed someone to make me read it, to help me believe that it would actually work and that I could cure myself, you were exactly what I needed.
Thank you so so much for helping me to change my life! For making me believe in myself and for being part of my incredible journey to becoming a mummy! -
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After going though the programme with you, and now especially after giving birth, my outlook and aspirations have completely changed. For the first time in a very, very long time I feel truly happy and at peace with myself and my life. Thank you for helping me to achieve the life I always longed for.- Kate”-
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Please private message me for more information on overcoming emetophobia and thriving.

Lesley has very kindly written this testimonial ab

Lesley has very kindly written this testimonial about her experience of overcoming anxiety: - “I attended the programme because I was struggling very badly with anxiety that was getting worse. I felt unable to control my feelings. -
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The programme was massively helpful for me and my sessions, along with reading through the book, helped me to regain control of my thought process. The teaching made a lot of sense: I now understand what I can control and what I can’t. As a result I feel calm and relaxed. -
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What stood out for me was the common sense approach of the programme, it is really easy to follow as well. -
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I was surprised at how much the programme helped in such a short space of time. The manual is very easy to read. -
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My consultant, Victoria, was wonderful, really easy to talk to, she has helped me so much. I am in a very different place now, my thought process is changed in a more positive way. If I do feel I’m becoming anxious at any time I can reflect back to our sessions. I have developed skills to deal with anxiety and I am definitely now more resilient.” Please send me a message for more information about learning to thrive 🌟

Holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves can

Holding on to limiting beliefs about ourselves can lead to years of self-doubt, guilt and anxiety as Louise describes in her testimonial below. Feeling at peace with ourselves is such a fundamental element in thriving. -
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Louise has kindly given her permission for me to share her experience of learning how to feel at peace with herself....
- . “I originally attended following years of self doubt/guilt and anxiety. The pinnacle that made me attend was a panic attack. I had never suffered from them and it terrified me. I wasn't sleeping and was eating poorly. I realised I needed help and found Vicky at Thrive.
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Working through the programme made me rethink my thoughts and helped me to cope with past/present reasoning.
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Vicky was very supportive and understood my anxieties and gave me the tools to correct and improve my thinking and beliefs.
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Working through the programme with Vicky was straightforward and easy to follow. It was set in a calm and relaxed setting.
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It surprised me how soon I actually felt at peace with myself and that I wasn't a bad person and that life events were making me think otherwise. I now feel so much confident in myself and understand my happiness is down to me.” -
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For more information please contact me on vicky.bourque@me.com

We can get into a habit of neglecting to treat our

We can get into a habit of neglecting to treat ourselves with respect. I recently worked with a wonderful client called Hannah who has kindly given her permission for me to share her testimonial below about how she now appreciates herself ❤️-
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Hannah- you are a star and it has been my pleasure to work with you 🌟-
- “I originally attended sessions with Victoria because I felt like I wasn’t living my life properly, the littlest of things would get me down and my over powering emotions weren’t allowing me to thrive in my A-levels. I needed to gain some advice on how to control my anxiety and help me get on the right track again! .
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The programme gave me so much more confidence in my abilities, I was able to process all of the positives in my life when, originally I would ignore or dismiss these experiences. -
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I’ve started to appreciate myself and admire the person I am, which is something I’ve struggled to do in the past. -
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The programme has honestly changed negative habits of mine, habits which I personally thought were just part of who I am. - -

Working through the programme made me realise how little I knew about myself and my beliefs and how easy it is to become happier once you take time to listen to your inner voice. -
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At first I really believed that changing my unhelpful thinking would be challenging, but once you tune into your mind it’s actually really easy to stop anything negative coming through. I didn’t realise that I could stop my inner voice being so degrading however, the programme really helped me realise that, it’s just not the case. -
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I really loved how the programme didn’t focus on the past, I love that it was all about the present and future: this made me so proactive and allowed me to understand how fast and easy it is to change your mindset. It made me feel so hopeful that anything that had previously upset me, did not impact me now, and nothing can stop me from healing and become a happier person. -
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I personally loved working with a consultant. My consultant Victoria, was a very warm and supportive presence in a hard time I was going through & she made my experience of the programme so easy.”

When I start working with clients, I can see their

When I start working with clients, I can see their potential which, initially, they often can’t see. It is a real privilege to see their belief in themselves develop. Someone who epitomises this progression is April who has kindly written the following testimonial: -
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- “I started the Thrive Programme®️around two months ago. Prior to the Thrive Programme®️, I had been in recovery from anorexia and I was attending for depression and anxiety. -
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I had been to CBT several times and a counsellor and I can honestly say the Thrive Programme®️ has changed my way of thinking and my outlook on life. -
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Before, I used to believe everything happened to me because some of sort of fate or external factor. However, I understand now I don’t need external validation from anyone to live my life, it was just a thinking style in my brain. -
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Yesterday I found out I had got onto my master’s course. In the past, I would have told myself that I can’t say I’m going otherwise I’m jinxing it and then I won’t get onto my course. Whereas now I challenged that belief: I looked at houses to live in, I looked at part time jobs, I told friends and family I had applied and I still got onto my course because I internally put the work in. -
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The difference with the Thrive Programme®️ compared to other kinds of therapies is it looks at every aspect: beliefs, self-esteem, thinking styles, language, social anxiety. It doesn’t just focus on the symptoms you are attending for and I think that is what has helped me a lot, and within such a short time I have regained my life back that I thought ‘depression’ and ‘anxiety’ had taken away.” -
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Thank you, April, for taking the time to write this touching testimonial and for your hard work and commitment 🌟 It has been my pleasure working with you.

#mentalhealthawarenessweek day 5- in the same way

#mentalhealthawarenessweek day 5- in the same way that physical health doesn’t just happen, mental health needs active, ongoing care and attention. -
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People who are psychologically healthy have daily habits that nurture their mental and emotional wellbeing. -
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These skills, habits and insights can be learnt and the more they are practised, the more automatic they become. -
- What small step are you going to take today towards looking after your mental health? -
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing #loveyourlife

Today’s post for #mentalhealthawarenessweek is a

Today’s post for #mentalhealthawarenessweek is all about PERFECTIONISM! .
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Perfectionism is not about high standards, it is about UNREALISTICALLY high standards where anything other than absolute perfection is seen as a failure. .
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. 🔍 It is about always noticing mistakes and perceived flaws. .
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. ⚫️⚪️ It is about thinking in a black and white/ all or nothing way about success and failure. .
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. 😠 It is about giving yourself a hard time and beating yourself up for inevitably not meeting the impossibly high standards you constantly set for yourself. .
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. 😑 It is about not seeing or processing your achievements. .
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. 😬 It is often linked to social anxiety: because perfectionists are so judgemental of themselves, they assume others will be equally judgemental of them. .
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If you recognise yourself here- that is the first step! Acknowledge that you are in the unhelpful habit of thinking this way. Actively amend that perfectionist thinking into something more helpful and realistic. You’ll relax and enjoy life so much more 😌 .
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #perfectionism #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing #loveyourlife

Day 3 of #mentalhealthawarenessweek- check in toda

Day 3 of #mentalhealthawarenessweek- check in today from time to time and notice the words you are saying and thinking. .
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. ➕ Are you using positive, kind and supportive words? .
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. ➖ Or are they negative, unkind and unsupportive? .
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🗯 Are your words over-dramatic, making a mountain out of a molehill? .
.
. ⚫️⚪️ Do you tend to use very rigid “black and white” language such as always/never, success/failure, good/bad or right/wrong with no room for a middle ground? .
.
. 😔 If you find you are feeling some uncomfortable emotions such as anxiety, doubt or embarrassment- take a moment to think back through the words you have been using both out loud and in your thoughts. The emotions that seem to HAPPEN TO US are actually MADE BY US. 💭 Unhelpful thoughts create uncomfortable emotions 🙁😫😡😳😬.
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. 💬 The language we use REALLY MATTERS and it is a huge insight into what you think and believe. .
.
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Try choosing to make your language more helpful today and you will be actively and positively impacting upon the rest of your day. Learn to do that everyday and both your mental health and your life will improve. -
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing
#wednesdaywisdom #loveyourlife

☀️ Every day is a fresh start ☀️ #mentalhe

☀️ Every day is a fresh start ☀️ #mentalhealthawarenessweek .
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One of the skills I work with my clients to develop is the ability to start each day fresh. .

We can so easily get into the habit of letting one difficult day, run into the next and snowball into a bad week (or longer). .
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We often brood about what happened yesterday and let it affect us today when we could learn from it, draw a line under it and move forward. .
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So I encourage you to take a deep breath and actively choose to make today a fresh start. Do this consistently every day and you will start to feel lighter and less burdened by the past. .
#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing #loveyourlife

This is my message to you at the start of #mentalh

This is my message to you at the start of #mentalhealthawarenessweek2019 (and every week): YOU MATTER ❤️ .
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If you are struggling with your mental health you may have limiting beliefs about yourself, your abilities and your life. .
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You may be feeling powerless about changing those beliefs. .
A belief is a THOUGHT WE KEEP THINKING 💭💭💭 .
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All of this week, keep reminding yourself that YOU MATTER. Every time you think it, the more you will believe it. .
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YOU MATTER ❤️
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#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing #mentalhealthawarenessweek #loveyourlife

💭 We humans have the most incredible, amazing i

💭 We humans have the most incredible, amazing imaginations 💭- -💭 When we use our imaginations helpfully we are creative, innovative, inspired, motivated and solution-orientated 💡💡💡- -HOWEVER!!!! We humans often misuse this amazing gift of imagination by: - Overthinking- - Worrying - - Focusing on the worst-case scenario - - Believing everything we think- - Assuming thought every single thought has some sort of deep meaning about us or our lives. -

This misuse of our imaginations can become an unhelpful habit leading to mental health issues. -

The fantastic news is that with practice and effort we can train ourselves to USE our imaginations to help us achieve what we WANT rather than what we FEAR 💪💪💪 -

#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing

Wishing you all a lovely Easter weekend 🐣

Wishing you all a lovely Easter weekend 🐣

Many young people find navigating social media and

Many young people find navigating social media and friendship dynamics challenging. In fact, people of all ages can find these things tricky!-
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I recently worked with a fantastic 15 year old who was struggling with the above and here is what his mum wrote about the experience: -
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“My 15 year old son was having a difficult time coping with the pressures of social media and friendship groups. I approached Vicky to ask if this was something she could help with and she suggested that my son went to her for an initial informal chat. -
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Once he’d been to see Vicky initially he felt she could help him make sense of this confusing teenage world and provide him with some coping strategies. -
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I’m delighted to say that my son has successfully followed the Thrive Programme®️ with Vicky’s help and he is a much happier young man. It didn’t happen overnight but was a gradual improvement in his general attitude and a gain in self confidence and self worth. Vicky has provided him with unbiased, impartial advice and has shown him how to deal with difficult situations. -
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I would definitely recommend Vicky as she is a genuinely caring person and has a wealth of knowledge and experience.”-
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Please private message me for more information.

#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing

💭 When you think of a socially anxious person,

💭 When you think of a socially anxious person, what thoughts come to mind? 💭-
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🤔Someone who is quiet, shy and easily embarrassed? -
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🤔Someone who lacks confidence? -
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🤔 Someone who is self-conscious and avoids social interactions/situations? -
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Social anxiety is a fear of being judged and a preoccupation with what other people think of you. -
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So not everybody who suffers with social anxiety is quiet and reserved. Someone can be sociable and outgoing and still be very anxious about what others think of them. -
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They may set themselves extremely high standards (with their appearance, home, work, what they say etc) in an attempt to avoid perceived judgement. -
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They may go to great lengths to be liked, popular and fit in. -
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They may overthink past interactions/conversations: mentally replaying, analysing and regretting what they said and did. -
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Whether a social anxiety sufferer is quiet or outgoing, the anxiety is created by limiting beliefs and thinking. The Thrive Programme teaches the insights and skills to challenge and change those beliefs and thinking, creating social confidence rather than anxiety.
#mentalhealth #anxiety #anxietyproblems #depression #panicattacks #socialanxiety #emetophobia #lowselfesteem #letstalkaboutmentalhealth #thriveprogramme #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #endstigma #mentalwellbeing #wednesdaywisdom

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Thrive with Victoria Bourque © 2020